God is in the Midst of Her...

I have always been one to enjoy personality tests and psychological assessments.  Whether it's the zodiac, the five languages of love, or the Carl Jung/Myers-Briggs test, I'm all over it.  (By the way, I'm a Picses, my love language is physical touch, and I'm an INFJ).  I did the Myers-Briggs test a while ago, for school I think, maybe freshman year, and I kind of think I wasn't an INFJ the last time I took it.  So when I took the 72-question online test last night and saw INFJ, at first I was annoyed and skeptical.  But then I started reading the profile.  You know, I just love reading those "profiles" that promise to reveal "who I am."  I'm always so excited to "read myself" on the page and to wrestle with the parts that don't sound like me.  I think I enjoy this so much for two reasons -- one, I prefer the written word over other types of communication, and two, because I find it difficult to understand myself (in all my complexities) without some clear direction.  OK, so I'm reading all about the INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging) last night, her personality, her relationships, her career possibilities...and I was affirmed!  It was fantastic!  The more I read, the more true it became.  I would like to share with you now what I am learning about myself, the good and bad...(PS -- only 1% of the population is an INFJ...pretty cool!)

"INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities...constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives...they know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it...we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk...INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations....the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive...but the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to...INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well....they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right...on the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them...they have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right.  INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going...but they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals...INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates...they are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, or it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types...sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy...they make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring.  INFJs take their parenting role with ultimate seriousness. They will make sacrifices for the sake of their children without a second thought, and without remorse. Passing on their values to their children is a serious priority in their lives....although the INFJ is likely to put friends behind God and their families in terms of importance, they do value their friendships...seek authenticity and depth in their close relationships, and especially value people who can see and appreciate the INFJ for who they are and what they stand for...likely to spend a lot of time socialing with family members and their religious community...INFJs are usually quite popular, although they may be unaware of it themselves, because they don't place a lot of importance on it...they have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. They are future-oriented, relational leaders who are compassionate and intense.  INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions...they do well in ministry, in teaching, in medicine, in alternative health modalities, in counseling, in music/art, and in early childhood development (midwifery composes all of these things!)...the INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement."

Phew!  That's a lot!  At first I thought about trimming it down, but to be frank, I'm writing this more for my benefit than for yours -- see, stubborn and intense!  ;)  Ah, 'tis good for my heart to know myself better.  Am I alone in feeling that it is a difficult thing to manage -- to truly know oneself?  "Difficult to understand...rarely at peace with self..."  It's true.  But it doesn't sadden me...the clarity soothes my soul as I acknowledge who I am, and strive to be the best version of myself.  I am complicated.  I am beautiful.  I am Halley.