God is in the Midst of Her...

OK. So plunging v-necks with popping cleavage is tasteful, but breastfeeding in public is disgusting. And pornography is acceptable, but a woman giving birth in the nude is disturbing. Clinton told the whole nation that oral sex isn't really sex, but oral/manual nipple stimulation during labor is inappropriate. Hmmm...can you say contradiction?!?!

Can you tell I have been rather frustrated by our culture the last few days? Last Friday evening, the Columbia Community Birth Center hosted a FABULOUS cake competition and champagne gala, and Uprise Bakery submitted the prize-winning cake: chocolate cake in the shape of a life-size water-birthing woman!!! It was incredible -- every pregnancy and birth junkie there LOVED it! See below :



Amazing! Exquisite! Beautiful! Unfortunately, not everyone thought so. I understand that it was an unusual cake, I really do. But I had blissfully forgotten that our society is so painfully Puritan. They thought it was a shocking breach of a cultural taboo. A few were even appalled by the cake and refused to eat it. I know it's just a cake, but it really breaks my heart. I suppose I now take it for granted that the female body, and especially the pregnant female body, is so extraordinary, powerful, and full of beauty. I forget that not everyone understands this. I forget that our culture thinks female bodies are sexy and desirable (but not beautiful and normal), and sexy only behind closed doors, darkened magazine covers, and inside the male imagination. What a cruel dash of reality.



There was a lot of cake left over, so I went home with the right breast, which was AWESOME. But my roommates and I couldn't eat it all, so I took it to a football watch party the following evening -- the people at the party were by and large folks I didn't know well or at all, by the way. I knew it would make things wonderfully awkward and I wasn't disappointed -- a few were repulsed, a few were intrigued, and most just didn't know what to do! One guy actually had the nerve to tell me it was disgusting -- I really wish I would have snapped something back about the stack of Playboys he undoubtably has in his bedroom!



So there you have it. Americans are sex addicts and incredibly prudish at the same time.



Take a look at that awesome cake. Look at her power, look at her grace, look at the way she gives life. It's not that she is exposed, it's that she has nothing to hide. It's not that she is naked, it's that she's worked up a sweat and has the freedom to be comfortable. It's not that she's scandalous, it's that she's natural. Look closely. Can't you see how beautiful she is?

 

I must say, sometimes being a Christian makes it hard to be the nonconforming, "earth mother" woman I am.  I have been noticing more & more since getting involved in midwifery and birth issues that there are unspoken expectations for Christian women.  I do believe that Christian culture, and The Church at large, appreciates women for their diverse abilities, takes them seriously, and wants to empower them to live as powerful yet gentle women of God at home, in the workplace, and in church.  And yet, as I claim the unorthodox work of midwifery as my own, I am realizing there is in fact a "mold" for an acceptable Christian women in culture's eyes -- and I am breaking that mold.  For example...

 

Opening to birth...a laboring mother allowing her body to do what it's made to do!  So beautiful!

 

Well, yes, the picture is certainly an example, lol.  Also...I wear a figurine of a pregnant woman's belly and breasts around my neck -- and I wear it to church on purpose to take a stand against the cultural mold and silently say "Yeah, that's right I'm wearing BOOBS in the place we worship the Lord -- you got a problem with that?"  And I've been contemplating getting a sweet tattoo (like "sage femme" [midwife in French] or a triple spiral [Celtic symbol for the 3 stages of womanhood and also the holy trinity] on or near my breasts.  I think it would be very meaningful and sexy!  I support extended breastfeeding (nursing beyond the first year of life, often meaning past the 2nd year of life as well) and I talk about it.  When I am met with looks of disgust and judgment, I am polite and explain that most of the world weans their children between the ages of 2-4 years, and that breastmilk has numerous benefits for toddlers as well as newborns.  I also usually gently say that I myself nursed until I was 3 years old, and my youngest sister until she was 5.  (I often want to also say, "Hey!  You drink the breastmilk of  a COW every day, pal!"  Usually I keep my mouth shut).  I think I'll eat a small portion of my placentas each time I give birth, as human placenta is extremely nutritious and prevents hemorrhage and postpartum depression.  All mammals, even herbivores, eat their placentas because they provide a quick burst of energy & prevent bleeding (think about it...you rarely see animals bleed to death after giving birth)  I think placentaphagy honors God because it is utilizing what He provides, in every birth: a nutrition source and medicine to safeguard the mother's health.  It goes without saying that eating placenta is very unusual, and most consider those who do it to be weird hippies or Tom Cruise-scientology freaks.  Clearly, and unfortunately, I am developing a vengeance against those who, I feel, judge me without knowing me, dismiss me without any knowledge of the unusual but beautiful things I embrace...

 

The "first mother," nurtures babies & mommies alike!  This is the fetal side -- note the umbilical cord in the middle :)

In reality, I am no different that most Christian girls -- I uphold the Bible as the Word of God and Jesus Christ as the Son of God and my Savior, who died on the cross for my sins and saved me from death, and who rose again 3 days later and now lives in my heart and the hearts of many.  I also hold fast to what the Bible teaches about women -- although I certainly struggle with these verses as well.  My struggle is shaped by the fact that society and extremists have poisoned and misapplied the Bible's teachings in order to make it oppressive of women, instead of what it truly is -- empowering when understood in context.  Ephesians 5...Proverbs 31...1 Peter 3...all beautiful passages of scripture regarding the beauty and grace and role of women that are hard to figure out, but I do trust in their truth, because I trust in God's truth.  

However, Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, and 1 Peter 3 are not my favorite passages about women in Scripture.  Instead, I like to turn to Exodus 1, in which the Pharaoh tells the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, that they are to kill all the baby boys that are born.  "But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live." (v. 17)  Because of the midwives' reverence for human life and their faithfulness to God over the Pharaoh, God is kind to the midwives and gives them families of their own...  You see, the Bible actually has a lot to say about hippy-dippy midwives and childbirth, and it's pretty fantastic stuff.  Now turn to Genesis 35, when Rachel is giving birth to Benjamin.  The scripture says that Rachel had a very difficult labor, and it actually took her life.  And yet, when her labor was at its very hardest, her loving midwife was right there at her side, encouraging her and soothing her.  Flip three chapters to Genesis 38:27-30, when Tamar is giving birth to twins, after having conceived by her father-in-law who assumed her a prostitute.  Not only does Tamar's midwife handle her delivery of twins (one breech, one hand presentation = very difficult positions for a birth, esp with twins) beautifully, she was also willing to be at Tamar's side despite the scandal of her pregnancy.  Check out 1 Timothy 2:15...women will be saved through CHILDBEARING, if they remain in faith, love, holiness, and self-control.  Jesus himself mentions childbirth in John 16:21..."when SHE has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy that a child has been born..."  It certainly is fitting considering that Jesus deeply valued women and wanted to see them empowered and fully alive.  (See John 4, the story of the Woman at the Well for an example of Jesus' feelings towards women, and Luke 7, the story of the woman who poured her perfume on Jesus' feet, for another).  I think the most magnificent story regarding birth in the entire Bible is found in Luke 2:1-21, the story of the birth of Jesus and of Mary, the heroine who brought the Messiah into the world.  How incredible is it that God CHOSE to use the power of a woman's body and heart to bring His Son, the Great Light of the World, to this earth?!  That He could have used any means imaginable, but He knew the BEST way to do it would be to harness the delivery power of Mary to bring THE Deliverer into the world!  (For a detailed discussion of this, please see my Facebook note "Watching Christmas.")

 

A modern-day MARY!  I am WOMAN, hear me roar!

This is the God I serve.  The God who made women with boobs and vaginas and uteruses and hearts.  The God who wants women to know the joy of childbirth and the ecstasy of orgasm.  The God who is kind to midwives and gives them families.  He made each of us unique, and He doesn't use molds.  He is bigger than cultural norms and unusual practices.  He wants us to know the amazing things our bodies can do -- our bodies are beautiful and they are good.  He wants us to love other women and serve them, and humble ourselves in the sight of our sisters.

 

"Lord God...fill me with ALL humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  Make me walk in a manner worthy of my calling...and let me meditate on the ONE hope that belongs to my call." (Ephesians 4:1-3)

 

This is my God.